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Ways to annoy people

1. Leave the photocopier set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17" paper, 99 copies
   
2. In the memo field of all of your cheques, write "for sensual massage"
   
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go"
   
4. Stomp on little ketchup packets
   
5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up"
   
6. Reply to everything that someone says with "that's what YOU think"
   
7. Practice making fax and modem noises
   
8. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and 'cc' them to your boss
   
9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up
   
10. Finish all of your sentences with "in accordance with prophesy"
    
11. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears
    
12. Holler random numbers while someone is counting
    
13. Adjust the colour on the TV so all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way"
    
14. Staple papers in the middle of the page
    
15. Honk and wave at strangers.
    
16. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register
    
17. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE
    
18. type only in lowercase
    
19. don't use any punctuation
    
20. Buy large quantities of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets
    
21. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
    "Do you hear that?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
    
22. As much as possible, skip rather than walk
    
23. Ask people what gender they are
    
24. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down
    
25. Sing a song at the opera
    
26. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme
    
27. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles"
    

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