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"Dear Ruby,Dr.Ruby replies...
I have a problem with my boyfriend and that is that he has never had proper sex with me. He loves to tie me up and beat me until my poor little bottom is red and then he will wank over my face. He has asked me to chain him up and hurt him. Please tell me what to do as I am really hot for proper sex."
"Dear Jill of Hampton Wick,
Agree to chain the little wanker up and you could either sit on his prick and do everything yourself or go out and find a real man!"
"Dear Ruby,
After a Rugby match we all go into a big bath together and I have a long time to look at the other members of the team. I have noticed that from their pubic hair these great monster pricks appear. I almost have to go through my hair with a magnifying glass to find anything that sticks out. It is making me very depressed. Can you help me?"
"Dear XY of Washington,
A girl of your age should not be showing with the boys anyway. But as you have you now know which of the pricks to leave alone."
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